Wanted: Christmas Spirit

I can't seem to find it this year and I wonder where it went. This is as much Christmas spirit that I could muster up this year. Our home should be filled with silly decorations and the lights should be adorning the exterior of our home but it's not. Our tree have the ornaments (many of them handed down from my grandparents) but there aren't any presents underneath it. We haven't really done any shopping this year. We've watched the Christmas movies (finally saw Elf, which was lame but A Christmas Story did help a little bit for me mainly because I heart that movie), I've done my Christmas cookies baking but still, the spirit is lacking. With just a few more days until the holidays, I'm really hoping to find it. I'm looking forward to heading home for a few days and seeing the family. That should jump start it. We're also taking the Coast Starlight train up to Portland, Oregon for the New Years and being with our friends will also bring in the spirit. Maybe my Christmas spirit will hit in January or something and I'll just be early for the next year, not late :)

• i'll wear my holiday socks until the spirit hits •

One by one...

...the penguins steal my sanity.

It starts to feel that way with the limited amount of work that I am doing. For the past couple of months, my company has felt the downturn of the economy. We're an advertising agency, with only seven people and the company has been around for over twenty years. It's a great company to work for and I really enjoy it. However it's become a little strenuous as a majority of our clients cut back their budget or are folding and I have two choices: work part time or file unemployment!

If the timing was different, I could start job hunting to find another advertising/production job. The only drawback of that is the upcoming year. How does one go job hunting when they need to disclose that they need to take a lot of time off in February, May and September for their own weddings (planning two long distance weddings is a lot of work)? I think that most employers would cross me off the list. So instead, I'm determined to hang in with my current company, endure the worst of the economy and just hope that it turns around so I can work again at full capacity.

The idleness drives me a little crazy though. What does one do with all this newfound free time? Coincidentally, it does open doors for more possibilities. My personal trainer needs a producer to help put together their workout videos. Great, that helps keep me a little bit busier and I get be productive in my field of work. I've also become a mean racquetball player. I've never been a sports girl. I used to play baseball and love to go to a batting cages but besides that, I have always lacked competitiveness. Until I started racquetball. It has become a great way for me to release this pent up stress that I have from the lack of work. Although my body has taken a toll as I endure running into the walls only to hit that damn ball!

Also starting in January, I am going to flower school. Sure, poke fun here but the main reason for it is so I can do all the flowers for our wedding. With all the time off, taking the classes and having an outlet for my creativity also helps me break this idleness that I currently have. There is only so much grocery shopping, library hunting and cleaning house that I can do.

I think that this all fills us about 5-8 hours of the remaining 20 hours that I have free nowadays. Any other suggestions for me to venture on to ensure that I keep myself busy? I really don't want those penguins to steal my sanity!

Unwind Time

The first phase of the holidays are over and it went over wonderfully! The Santa Clara invasion went over quite smoothly, everyone getting along and feeling much fuller after all the food, desserts, snacks and home-brewed beer that we offered. It was actually one of the best holidays that I've had in a long time spending so much time with my parents, grandparents and really getting to know my future in laws. Having a close knit family really reminded me of what giving thanks was all about.

It's that time for family and some stress...

I am not a fan of the big Thanksgiving. I love the gathering of the family and friends but was never a fan of the food. Turkey? Boo on that. Cranberries? No thanks. Sweet potato yams? Marshmallows destroying yams delicious flavors. Pumpkin pie? The only good thing. Oh, and fresh biscuits. Since this is the first year that I am hosting Thanksgiving, I am putting my foot down and changing up the menu.

Fresh vegetable lasagna with homemade pasta sauce. Roasted green beans with toasted almonds. Homemade garlic bread. Garlic cloves baked in the oven to accompany the appetizer of fresh Dutch cheese and bread. Fresh Italian salad. Finish everything off with desserts of homemade apple pie and cheesecake brownies. Yup, that's my menu for this Thanksgiving and I can't wait to start cooking everything early Thursday morning.

Hosting the first Thanksgiving is a little stressful. I'm not stressed for the cooking part. I'm more stressed on the...gulp...two families meeting each other! Marijn's parents is flying in from the Netherlands for ten days. My parents are driving up from Los Angeles. My grandparents are driving up from Arizona. And my lovely sister is staying in Los Angeles, she knew that it was smarter to let me enjoy this all on my own.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm really excited about seeing my family and my (future) in-laws but it's natural to also feel a little stressed. The two set of parents are meeting each other the first time which is great, except for the small detail of the language barrier. The (future) mother-in-law's English is limited. My mother can also be shy on her English and will speak Vietnamese. Of course, my Dutch is super limited and my Vietnamese is pretty Americanized. So these three languages in my home will be a little overwhelming. I'm thinking of only speaking Spanish during Thanksgiving so then there will really be four languages floating throughout our home!

All in all, I'm really excited about this Thanksgiving, it meant a lot to Marijn and I to have our families meet each other before the wedding. It takes a huge load off the stress parts of the wedding. Although I'm not even feeling any of the "stress" or "bridezillaness" that comes with wedding planning (yet), especially since we've successfully crossed off a lot from our daunting to-do list.

We've booked our wedding location, we've found a wonderful husband and wife photography team, I found my dress (heehee, there is no way I'm linking to my dress!), my super talented Aunt is hand making my jewelry, the wedding party has been assembled, our website is almost ready for launching, our friend has offered his graphic design services for our printing needs, we've picked out the invites and another friend is taking the challenge of marrying us off!

So all the big items are off the list and it's now down to the little itty-bitty parts of the wedding. Like taking an evening floral arranging class so I can see if I can do my own flowers and seeing if I can actually bake enough cupcakes so we can have that be homemade (still not sure about that challenge, that's a lot of work just before the wedding but it just might be possible).

Anyway, it's going to be a wild ride for the next couple of days (and months to come) but it's something that excites me but with a sprinkle of stress. So on that note, whatever your adventures are for this Thanksgiving, have a good one!

Scuba Diving Bonding

One of my new favorite things to do is scuba diving. If I had the time and the luxury to do it more often, I most certainly would. However what makes the scuba diving more enjoyable and special is that it has become a father/daughter bonding adventure.

Mai and Dad have their motorcycles so they get to go riding every weekend. My mom even joins them, they are the cutest motorcycling riding family. There is a little twinge of jealousy since I am unable to join them in these adventures. But now that I have scuba diving (and Mai doesn't enjoy it), it's become the perfect father/daughter adventure.

This past weekend, as a birthday gift from dad, he took me on a dive trip to Catalina. We woke up at 4:30 in the morning and trekked our way to the harbor. I am the worst morning person but watching the sun rise over the harbor is magnificent and makes the early wake up call worth it.

• long beach harbor, 6 am•

Although I have about thirty dives since becoming certified last year in Thailand, I still get nervous on the boat ride over. Maybe it's because I try to stay focused on not getting seasick or the worry that I will forget some crucial step with all the gear, like turning the air on.

• i always have that look of uncertainty at the boat's edge•

But once I descend into the clear blue water, I become a happy diver (one who will sing either the Jaws theme song or the Little Mermaid's "Under the Sea" happily in my head since I can't really sing underwater).

• so blue and perfect while i swim with the fishies•

On this trip, Dad didn't bring his spear gun so he didn't do any fishing (which I'm happy about, it's something I don't like to watch). Instead, he was the underwater photographer who kept trying to get me to do things for that cool shot. Do you know how hard it is to communicate when you're underwater?! It's very difficult and charades come in handy.

• dad kept flailing his arms, still not sure what he wanted
me to do but the photo came out nicely •

• garibaldi fishes are my favorite because they aren't shy•

Every once in awhile, Dad let's me snag the camera away from him so I can play. It a huge challenge trying to take photos under water, it takes a lot of practice and patience.

• i love that little fish to the side, checking my dad out•

Our underwater adventures are a lot of fun and I need to do them more often! But the water will soon becoming a tad cold for it.


• dad capturing me swimming with the sardines•

Beginning of Fall

It's my favorite time of year! Beginning of fall, fresh Oktoberfest beer, my "getting older and loving it" day and Halloween! It's all wrapped up nicely for me in the cozy month of October!

I have many recurring dreams. Especially of zombies. I have zombie dreams of me being a kick-ass woman fighting them. Or using my mad skills of trying to find unique places to hide from the apocalypse of the zombies. And I actually don't mind them. I'm so used to the silly recurring dreams (about once every other week) of zombies that it really doesn't bother me. It's the recurring dreams that I have occasionally (about twice a year) that sometimes bothers me. Like the one where you haven't attended class all summer long and you show up the last day and it's final time. You're not prepared, you panic, therefore waking yourself up from the nightmare only to remind yourself that you've been out of college for seven years.

I handle most of my recurring dreams quite nicely. They are familiar to me and they make me laugh.

Until recently. The wedding dreams have begun and they actually freak me out a little bit. So far, I've had about three of them (within the past week) and they are all sorted around the fact of me finding the dress. (Truth is, I haven't even started looking for it, I'll probably procrastinate since to me, that is the least important part of our wedding. A little backwards, I know). Maybe that's why I'm having these recurring dreams over this topic. It's almost frustrating because these dreams are new territory and I don't like them because I can't control them *odd side note is that I am a weird one with my dreams and when I become conscious that I am dreaming, can actually start manipulating them. Not sure how normal that is but I find it a little cool and odd at the same time that I can do that :)

In the meantime, can't I have dreams of zombie weddings? That would satisfy my inner weirdness!

Family Photos

One thing that I miss dearly about living in Southern California is the ability to visit my family whenever I want too. But this past weekend was all about reconnecting with all the loved ones. It was so much fun just being able to relax, have lots of laughs and most importantly, play! I just can't believe how quickly the "little" cousins grow up! Times like this when I start feeling like I'm (gasp) getting older!

• ryan is about to enter high school and jessica is no longer small enough to carry •

• playing "models" with kristy, she just started her first year at Cal Poly SLO •

• this is my dad's parents, isn't everyone so cute •

•jacob is the littlest one of the family and this is the best picture that I was able to capture from him. Three year olds don't like to sit still for very long. It's my favorite photo! •

time sure flies...

Summer is slowly ending...but very slowly. We still had about 90 degree weather this weekend but with a few leaves that are mildly changing color. So maybe summer isn't really winding down but it sure feels like the wheels are in motion.

Last weekend I celebrated my year anniversary of living up North. It's honestly felt like I've been living here for a long time and my super rad summer vacation of world traveling seems like it was forever ago but it was only last year.

Sitting on top of these temples in Cambodia, overlooking the world and listening to only the sound of the wind are the memories that I go back too when I think of my super rad summer vacation. I think back to the moments sitting alone in the temples and it gives me peace and makes my inner self smile. Sometimes I forget about taking the time to sit and reflect on our surroundings and the beauty and awe that it has to offer.

I found that moment last weekend overlooking the Santa Cruz mountains while at a winery and it made me happy. I like these moments and need to find more of them but just like in Cambodia, I've learned that it's always unexpected.

So now with summer winding down, I must now prepare for what the next seven months are going to bring. It's exciting and scary (Married in seven months?! Eeep!!!) and I hope to find more moments in these next months where I can just sit on top of the world and soak in the silence. Until then, I'll just have to keep myself busy filling (and emptying) our unnecessarily but so worth it wine rack!

Under the Giant Oak Tree

So we're about nine months away and have chosen a location for the dum-dum-da-dum day :) Since location is crossed off the huge list of things to do, we can now sit back and relax for the next couple of months. I like that feeling. So I wanted to share some photos of the awesome and super rad place that we're going to be celebrating at.

It's called Calamigos Ranch and is located in the hills of Malibu and the location we chose is called the Cottage and Pavilion. The cottage portion is the ceremony site and it has a ginormous Oak tree and waterfalls that flow behind the Oak tree.

•the mondo oak tree•

•one of the rad waterfalls•

After the ceremony, everyone heads off to the Pavilion for the fun part. Oh, I had to throw this photo in because on your way to the pavilion, you walk by the ferris wheel which is just cool because I like ferris wheels.

• pretty cool wheel•

And then it's all about the cocktails, dinner and dancing here at the Pavilion. Isn't that just purtee?

•cocktail area looking sparkly•

•dinner area which is also sparkly•

So yea, we found the location that was perfect for us. As soon as walked in, we knew that it was the place for us and everything else fell into place. It's awesome. We're excited. Give it about eight months, than I'm sure the stress will kick in! :)

A surprising anniversary

A little unknown about me. Ten years ago, I had a close encounter with death. My mentor, Kitty and I headed up to Kern River in Kernville to spend the day relaxing with some friends by inner tubing in the river. The weather was warm, the water was cool and it was a perfect and relaxing day. At least most of it was.

Sometime during our float down the river, Kitty floated too quickly down the river and we lost sight of her. About thirty minutes later, there was a huge tree in the middle of the river and stuck in the tree was Kitty, a rapid made her fall off of her tube and she climbed to the tree for safety. She was stuck there until we caught up to her. The group that we were with all steered towards her so we can grab her off the tree and help her get down all while trying to not to get swept away from the rapid. As I got real close to her, a tree branch hit me in the head and I fell into the water. It shocked me but not as much as getting tangled in the roots below me. My swim shorts tangled me into the roots pushing me further in the water. I couldn't move up to get air. I was stuck. I didn't panic, in fact, I did the complete opposite. I watched my air bubbles float around me and felt peace. I listened to the water and heard silence. It was so peaceful that I closed my eyes. I'm not sure how long I was there for before another person came to pull me out of my tangle. He brought me up to the surface and the sun and fresh air shock me out of my state as I choked up water. They brought Kitty and myself to the side of the river and we decided to call it a day. It was time to go home and take care of ourselves. Kitty and I rode back in silence, knowing all too well how the river can be very powerful.

So ten years later, I headed back to go tubing on the Kern River and had the most wonderful time (mostly).

•I don't want to go in the cold river•

Going through the rapids on a inner tube is wonderful and fantastic. My "river rat" provided enough cushioning to protect my ass from the rocks.

• see, adequate cushioning•

Going through the rapids on my ass because I lost the inner tube was not as much fun! I have the darkest and weirdest bruises on my, ahem, buttocks (was contemplating taking a photo but I couldn't get the right angle :). It was during those moments though when I had my mini-freakouts. Having my head back under the water, struggling through the rapids and being incredible weary of hitting my head made me have little flashbacks to ten years ago.

But by the end of the day, I was still all smiles and will probably head back down the river again in the future since it was a great camping trip.

•cheese•

But of course, what's a camping trip without some headache? My lovely car, which I've had since 02 and is the best little Acura RSX that one can have, decided to give me a headache. After enjoying a wonderful day on the river, we thought heading into town for some cold drinks would be perfect. My car had another idea and the alternator decided to die on me. Nothing better than having your car break down in the middle of the Sierra Mountains. It's still there getting fixed and my wonderful parents are going to pick it up for me and drive it back to Santa Clara later this week. I owe them a lot this upcoming weekend. But it works out so perfectly because I get to go scuba diving with my dad in Monterey this weekend. I'm glad that my near death experience didn't give me a fear of water or adventure because than life would be too boring.

Real Western Celebrations

• I'm starting off with an original Marijn dinner creation. When given the opportunity to cook meat for others at our house, he goes all out with the splurging of meat and so, on a lucky afternoon, he had the luxury of making pizza lined with bacon.

• We went off to celebrate America's birthday in true western fashion - by heading off to Prescott, Arizona. My grandparents live there (along with thousand of other retirees, I think it's either Arizona or Florida once one becomes the ripe age of retirement) so we thought that it would be an excellent idea to spend some time with them. It wasn't that bad, in fact, I think that we were able to enjoy ourselves.

• We fancied ourselves with a parade that showcased pretty much everyone who lived in the Prescott area. The parade was over two and a half hours. There were lots of horses, flags, veterans and more horses. We could actually only endure forty five minutes of it.

• Old fashion thunderstorms that concludes with a beautiful dual rainbow. California has the luxury of having amazing weather (hot, warm, windy or hot?) so it's been a very long time since I've been able to enjoy a thunderstorm. It made me warm and fuzzy to be in Prescott during monsoon season.

• The monsoons also provides an excuse to go into random stores and discover something new. While in the town of Jerome, the monsoons forced us into a tacky souvenir shop. However one little secret of the souvenir shop was that it held a silent movie theater upstairs. It was a time warp back into the twenties. Rad.

• Cowboys! Yes, they still exist! We went to the World's Oldest Rodeo and watched bull riding, horse steering and whatever else one does at the rodeo. There were a plethora of American flags, cowboy boots, cowboy hats and water-downed beer (Coors, Bud and Miller - those were the only alcoholic choices!) They opened the rodeo in a prayer. That was weird.

• A real working gas station in Skull Valley, Arizona. It's a blast from the past although I didn't live in that past, I'm sure that it's what it looked like back in the fifties.

• We went bike riding through Prescott into Skull Valley. I felt like such an uber biker chick. The only thing that I really didn't like is that you don't have to wear a motorcycle helmet in Arizona. It just doesn't seem safe to me, I would rather gear up head to toe in +100 degree weather (like pictured above) than to not wear a helmet for the sake of being cool and hip.

• Oh the moment of real beer touching my lips was bliss. We spent the whole weekend drinking water downed beer cause that's what one does when in Western world. The moment we entered the airport to fly home, a real bar with real beer was a must. Oh sweet nectar of the gods...

locations, tulle, dresses & flowers. oh my!

Wow. I've never immersed myself into the "feminine wedding" world so much as I am right now and it's crazy! Color patterns, inspiration boards, dresses, shoes, budget, music, jewelry! It's overwhelming!

I have never thought/dreamt of my wedding before. Growing up, we were raised in an anti-princess world. My sister and I would torture our Barbies, re-enact guns and robber or play dress up in military garb. We skipped the whole step of dreaming of our ideal wedding. And now, we are both completely immersing ourselves into this world. Mai is doing much better at playing the girl role than I am, she's already envisioned everything from the band, flowers, table decorations and food. I have to keep reminding her that it's my wedding.

I've been looking at the magazines and they scare me! All the magazines are pretty much the same and promote the exact same things. I've gone through Brides, Martha Stewart Weddings, InStyle Weddings and Real Simple Weddings and they are all identical! I'm glad that these were given to me because I feel sorry for the suckers who pay over $7 per magazine to get the same sugar-coated stuff in each 'zine. Besides the overwhelming factor, I don't know where to really start. I've only been in two weddings as a bridesmaid before so this whole wedding territory is so new to me. But at least we did one major thing already.

We crossed one thing off the list: the date! So, the official date of our wedding in Los Angeles will be (drum roll): Saturday, May 2, 2009.* We still haven't decided on the location but we are dreaming of it being by the beach (Malibu, Santa Monica, etc) so we can have the water, sand and sun reflecting on us all. For those that are going to be adventurous and join us for the Netherlands celebration, that date has been chosen too! It's going to be Wednesday, September 9, 2009 (yea, we are one of those kids who thought having another celebration on 9/9/09 would be rad).

And then there's the post-wedding things to think about. The last name?! After long thoughts on it, I'm keeping my last name because, well, it's been with me for the past twenty-eight years. Besides, I've perfected the art of the perfect signature that it will take too much effort for me to redesign my signature :)

Then there's the immigration world. Man o' man, is that complicated too! K1, L1, work green card vs. marriage green card. Throw into the mix that we want to move to the Netherlands in a couple of years and things start to get even crazier.

So although there are so many things that are overwhelming me, it makes me excited and happy all at the same time. We're still floating along in Cloud 9 and will continue enjoying it for as long as we can. I figure that it's best to focus most of our energy on all of the summer adventures and then start worrying about the details once September comes. There is one thing that I've become certain on that I want at our wedding. It's cupcakes and delicious desserts. Just take a look at these dessert bars, don't they look absolutely amazing and mouth watering? Yup, dessert bar is indeed a yes.


*oh crystal, laura, paddy (and all my other long distance loved ones) please tell me that you will be on the west coast?!*

Realizations and celebrations

When it comes to height, I've always seen myself as average. I'm 5'3" and on days when I want to be really spunky, I can be 5'7" although the days when I feel spunky are few and far between since I've discovered how much I love the flats. I surround myself with people who are similar to height and Marijn fits perfectly with me for height...not too tall where I hurt my neck trying to give him kisses so it's just right. However for the first time ever, I felt like a midget!

I went to Marijn's school reunion (their version of high school but starts at age eleven instead) which is celebrated every ten years because the class sizes are really small. So I was dragged to the event, meeting his classmates, his old snogging partners and his old teachers. While standing around everyone, I felt short but it didn't seem to bother me. Everyone was at least six feet tall so there was some height difference between me and everyone else. However that did not make me feel short. The restroom made me feel like a midget! After using the water closet, I went to wash my hands which stood at a decent level for me. I looked up to do the standard hair/makeup check and to my surprise, the mirror started at my forehead. Even standing on my tippy-toes, I could barely look into the mirror! This is a school where eleven years and older go and I could not even reach the mirror! I wish that I had my camera on me so you could see the difference. Dutch kids are tall! And I, a twenty eight year old grown woman, cannot see my own reflection in a kids high school mirror. Sigh.

On the celebratory note, I've inched closer to being an actual adult and accepted a beautiful proposal from my now fiancé. It took me a few days before I was able to say that word out loud. Marijn laughed at me but I think that at the same time, he was trying to get used to saying it out loud too! We've been talking about our future for awhile now so in the back of my mind, I knew that it was coming but there's such an amazing feeling when the dream finally becomes a reality and we've made it official.

We spent a couple of days in Barcelona, enjoying the time with my two beautiful college friends. We enjoyed plenty o' bottles of Cava with a delicious home cooked meal and ended up with the best mojitos on the Ramblas at about 2am. We stumbled back to our lovely four star hotel near Placa de Catalunya and passed out quite quickly upon our return. It was a really long and sleepless night since I was pretty sick starting at 4am which continued through until 11am. Being the great gentleman that Marijn is, woke up at noon and told me that he would pick up coffee. He came back, waking me up with breakfast in bed and beautiful red roses. Waking up to the smell of coffee and breakfast though didn't make me feel too pleasant but that was offset by the next few moments.

For me, it was the perfect moment, the two of us in our hotel room sharing this moment. Some people wonder/day dream that this moment will be a huge and elaborate affair but that's not something I would have dreamed of. We got to share this moment with just the two of us as we sat together feeling this euphoric wave come over us as we took the next step to make our lives connect on a deeper level.

Now it's time for the fun of planning! We haven't settled on any dates yet but things are starting to take shape. We are leaning towards a Spring wedding in the Netherlands followed by a Fall wedding in Los Angeles. I believe that once we get the dates set everything else will fall into place. We really are excited about this and can't wait to throw some kick ass parties! Weeeeeeeee!!!

Time for sangria on the Mediterranean

It's that time for a vacation so we're heading off to the Netherlands and Spain for some relaxation. Although I think that relaxation is an understatement. We're fitting in a wedding, a high school reunion, three birthday celebrations, a journey to Barcelona to visit the amazing Crystal and Laura and to enjoy wine, food and of course: el sol sin la parte superior en la playa! ;)

I'm looking forward to heading off again although it's a short trip. Time has flown since it's already been a year since my world travel adventure. So much has happened that it feels like it's been years since I've been traveling. The whole journey became so life changing that it still surprises me with how it's made me view life. I'm really not going to go into details because some of it is personal nor do I want to bore you with all the details. I will say that I love having the separation of work and pleasure. That my career shouldn't be what drives me in life and that it's important to try new things, whether it be new foods (my mad cooking skills increase daily), new clothes (this is a biggie for me because I despise shopping), new adventures (cave rappelling is really fun) or new journeys (planning for the future).

I wish that American's were given more vacation time, I just don't think that ten days is sufficient for anyone. I either need to go back to school or move to Europe, wink.

• candlelit boat ride through Amsterdam's canals

• Barcelona's coastal art

Understanding the green thumb

My favorite part of Spring is watching life blossom. It's been fun watching Silicon Valley bloom because everything is new to me so I'm enjoying Spring (although we are getting closer to Summer) with a fresh pair of eyes. It makes me tingly and happy inside.

With the end of apartment living, I finally have a garden that I can start tending too and learning how to properly grow and maintain. Although our house was already full of life when we moved in, I've become very diligent in making sure everything survives and grows and it's been amazing to see what has grown since we've moved in! Pears, plums and peaches to name a few! I can't wait to start making fruit pies and jams. The only thing lacking in our garden is an herb garden so that is my next goal. Yum.

Here are some photos of the life that has started growing in our backyard, I don't know what everything is and I wish I did. If you know of anything, let me know :)