Wedding Ceremony Reflection

*i thought that i was done with any reflection on the whole wedding process but we just received all of our photos (700+) and going through them, i'm getting waves of emotions/thoughts/feelings that i forgot all about. since i didn't do too much writing during the whole process, i guess it's time for me to release a few more wedding reflections blog. hope you don't mind? :)

Back in the days of the wedding planning, Marijn and I discussed having my childhood pastor marry us off. It was a very brief idea that was quickly shut down when we realized that neither of us are religious but the most important part was that my childhood pastor was just that: a person from my past who knew nothing of Marijn and I. We wanted to have someone marry us that knew both of us as a couple as well as an individual. We thought of our friends and realized that the best person would be our friend, Matt (the State of California allows for someone to get officiated for a day). We asked him early on and after thinking long and hard about it, he agreed! It was so wonderful knowing that we all worked together on putting together a ceremony that was meaningful and special not only for us but for our family and friends that sat through the ceremony.

Besides our individual vows to each other, we also included vows for us as a married couple and said "we do" instead of the standard "I do." The vows that we wrote were touching, heartwarming and even silly since some of them caused laughter from our families.

•will you make sure to never waste an opportunity to say I love you, never forget to ask "what can I do to help?"

• because conversation is always better with sand between your toes, will you take time to walk on the beach together?

• getting out of the house will always be frantic in the morning. It will only get more crazy. Don't leave without a hug and a kiss. The world will wait those five seconds. The same is true when going to bed. Always kiss goodnight. Even when you're so exhausted you can barely lift your head. Will you promise to hug and kiss?

• the days are long but the years are short. Will you promise to appreciate what you have today because it all goes by so fast?

• a bottle of wine at sunset is a true pleasure in life, don't sour it by talking about work. Will you promise to talk about something important and enjoy these moments?

• will you go on date nights together and remember why you fell head-over-heels in love with each other in the first place?

• will you remember that the money you make apart is not nearly as important as the time you spend together?

• will you promise to care for and support each other in the joys and sorrow of life and to share the responsibility for growth and enrichment in your life together?

We also included my grandfather into the ceremony as he was the only person to do a reading. It was so touching to have my grandfather, who has been happily married for over 61 years read for us this quote from "Union" by Robert Fulgham:

"...You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes, to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making commitments in an informal way. All of those conversations that were held in a car, or over a meal, or during long walks – all those conversations that began with, “When we’re married”, and continued with “I will” and “you will” and “we will” – all those late night talks that included “someday” and “somehow” and “maybe” – and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding.

The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, “You know all those things that we’ve promised, and hoped, and dreamed – well, I meant it all, every word.”

Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another – acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, even teacher, for you have learned much from one another these past few years. Shortly you shall say a few words that will take you across a threshold of life, and things between you will never quite be the same.

For after today you shall say to the world – This is my husband. This is my wife."